Having information on expected, normal behaviors and on available resources;
giving ourselves permission to grieve, to express feelings; finding good listeners, those who
understand us and our pain, accepting the support of others (this may make our grief a little
easier to bear); knowing that our grieving occurs in a random fashion.
How to help ourselves while we are grieving
Encountering the strong emotions that come to us while grieving can be very
painful and powerful. At the same time, we have the ability to help ourselves in the healing
process. We do not "get over" a loss, but we do learn to live with it over time. Here are some
things you can do as you are healing:
Externalizing the pain
Talking and writing about the loss are important ways to take the pain that is
on the inside and bring it out. Allowing the tears to flow freely is helpful, as is finding a
person willing to be a good listener.
Memories
Our relationship with the deceased is now firmly rooted in memory rather than
in presence. Memories can be kept alive by talking and writing about the loved one. Some
people create memory books of photos and keepsakes. Be aware that there are both happy and
painful memories.
Physical care
It is very important to eat balanced meals on a regular basis while we are
grieving, especially since we may loose our appetite and our interest in food. We also need
exercise and adequate rest. Relaxation techniques can help, such as finding a quiet place and
thinking positive, pleasant thoughts, or concentrating on slowly relaxing each part of the
body. It also is a good idea to have a complete physical exam four to six months after the
loss.
Hold on to hope
As we go through this painful process, we need to know that better days will
be back. Eventually, we will experience our grief in a different way. The waves of grieving
may still be intense, but they will tend to be shorter in duration and less frequent.
Gradually, a new sense of purpose emerges as we learn to live with the loss.
Written by the bereavement and spiritual care staff at Hospice of Michigan
.
Contact us
Common reactions to grief |
What is most helpful as we grieve? |
Living with grief - myths and realities
Grief Support Services |
Local Grief Support Groups
|
